Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dear Japan...

Attention to My Family and Friends of Japanese Descent,

While I in no shape or form blame you personally for Dec. 7, 1941, you have to admit that sneak attacking a sleepy little Hawaiian Island on a SUNDAY MORNING no less, was pretty fucked up.  Now I know that none of you have served in the Imperial Japanese Navy (except maybe for Julie's uncle Kazuhiro, that guy just reeks of Kamikaze), however the deed was done and it's time we address the elephant in the kimono so to speak.

Sunday Morning.  I mean WTF?  That's like sneak punching a retard while he's taking a piss.  Ok, all's fair in love and war and all of that shit, but really?  All I know is I better not hear any more fucking whining about that whole Atomic bomb thing.  At least we waited till a decent fucking hour...

But I digress.  In the spirit of moving forward and healing old wounds,  I am requesting, nay demanding, reparations for suffering and loss of sleep on behalf of my ancestors.  In fact, as an American and a Hawaiian, I should get double, you shithooks.  Please submit said reparations in the form of beer, Jack Daniels, or straight cash homey, by close of business today.  Only then can we move on and be a shining example of love and cooperation to the rest of the world, you back punching sons of bitches...

Peace Be With You.


  1. So are you really of Japanese descent?


  2. "That's like sneak punching a retard while he's taking a piss."


  3. Well said.

    Maui Mike